Dear Mother

Hi Mommy,
Remember when you used to take me out to play,
With all the kids and dogs and birds,
And you told me then and there that I would go far,
That I would soar and see the world,
And I would sprout alabaster wings to save the world.
And I will never forget the day when you told me,
That I could be whatever I wanted
To be.

Hey Mom,
I got an A in class today.
I raised my hand and answered the big-girl question.
The teacher likes my thoughts and words.
She says I have a brain that's beautiful and big,
That my talents will help the world and make you proud.
And I hope that I am becoming what you want me
To be.

Mother,
I tried out for a sport today just like you wanted and got on the team.
I know I'm not that good, but I'll work harder to be just like you were.
My classes are tough but I promise I'll keep trying,
And I hope you'll have time for me today when I come home.
I know you're busy, but I want to tell you about my day.
You'll probably be out with your friends, so I'll just go home,
But it's okay. Sometimes things and ways just have
To be.


Parent,
I wanted to tell you about my grades.
I wanted to tell you about the nice boy I met afterschool today.
I wanted to say that it was me who broke the china plate last Monday.
But I was afraid of your hand,
Since it and my cheek have met once too many a time,
And I didn't want to bother you….
I know you've been busy being a mother, and I know you don't want
To be.

You,
I've tried to say my thoughts, but they are struck with blood as I speak.
Running away on a road to nowhere, I forget what it is like to have dry eyes.
Tears replace the smiles you once gave me,
Bruises replace the hugs we once shared.
Darkness surrounds me as I look up to you in my hour of hope;
Hoping to see the person, the woman, I always wanted
To be.

Dear Stranger,
I thought it was me who caused you pain and anger,
That it was I who made you suffer and become your eternal burden,
But I was wrong.
I was always wrong.
And it's funny that in the end—you were right.
I was wrong.
I was wrong to believe that I deserved those beatings and bruises,
That I deserved the Hell you sent me through and the insults you threw.
The days where I remained on the floor crying till dawn while writing my dreams,
And the years I spent being told that I was nothing but a dreamer.
So yes, Mommy–-I was wrong.

Where is the mother I know and love?
Why are you acting this way and hurting me so?
I am your daughter…your child.
The adult who wanted to find love like you
The teenager who wanted to be the coolest like you
The girl who wanted a hug every day from you
The child who dreamed of being an artist, an athlete, a star

I only wanted to be
You.

Love,
your biggest fan


Luxuria De'Voire